


Hero (English version)

by SugarcubeGirl



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, F/F, Horde Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Lesbian Disaster Adora (She-Ra), Past Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:08:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24243319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarcubeGirl/pseuds/SugarcubeGirl
Summary: In just a few months, Adora will be named Force captain. Catra seems to want that rank so bad... Would Adora leave her position for her? Is that what she has always wanted? That nightmare... It repeats itself over and over again. What does it mean? What is her true fate? The only thing Adora knows is what she has always been told: she was born to be a hero.*Thanks to @AfriJackson for helping me with the translation. I love you so much.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), catradora - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	1. Chapter 1

Her musky scent clings to my sheets. I wrap myself in them, in a vain attempt to feel closer to her. The figure of Catra rests at my feet. The darkness only allows me to barely appreciate her collected tail and her lowered ears. I watch her in silence, feeling her with me. It has always been me and her. Forever. She is my family. I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to push away the memories of that night.  


“Adora?” murmured Catra.  


The sound of her sleepy voice draws a smile on my face.  


“That nightmare again?” she insisted, almost whispering.  


“No, it’s not that,” I shrug. “I just can’t sleep”.  


I feel her smile immersed in all this darkness. Catra sits up, heading inside my sheets. I make room for her, even though I know that tomorrow I’ll feel guilty for not letting her get enough sleep.  
Catra wraps her arms around me, her cold claws gently brushing me. I place my head on her chest, feeling her heartbeat, accompanied by a slight purr emanating within her. I close my eyes, tuning my breath with hers.  


“You haven’t slept at all, have you? It’s almost time to wake up,” she laments.  


“I suppose I did, but I’ve woken up too many times,” I admit.  


“You could’ve woken me up, I would have…”  


“Been awake with me?” I interrupt her. “Rest, you who can”.  


Catra sighs. I slowly caress her body, appreciating her curves. Her purring becomes sharper, at the same time as, even though I can’t see them, her cheeks light up. I give a fleeting smile. “Are you embarrassed?” I tease her.  


Catra sits up, sitting on the mattress and undoing that warm hug. Suddenly, a sharp cold sensation ran through my body. “ _Of course_ I’m embarrassed, you already know that!” she exclaims, in an agitated whisper.  


“I’ve been hearing you purr since we were young, why are you embarrassed?” I laughed.  


I also sit up, sitting in front of her. That’s when I notice that my eyes have already become accustomed to the dark, and I can appreciate her lowered and drooping ears, in addition to her adorable _good kitten_ expression.  


“I wish I knew”, she insists. “I just feel… vulnerable.”  


My expression hardens. Catra doesn’t usually talk about her feelings, let alone using a word as specific as _vulnerable_. Precisely because admitting you can feel that way makes you very much that: someone vulnerable.  


My eyes rest on hers, which have some hypnotic effect on me. Without thinking about it, I place the palm of my hand on her cheek, sliding my thumb there, on what ends up being a light sweet caress. Catra doesn’t look away. However, she closes her eyes for a moment to give me a warm kiss on the hand, which is not strong enough to separate itself from her angelic face. It is then, when our gazes, once again, meet… And that’s when the alarm clock goes off.


	2. Chapter 2

The scratchy sound of the robots falling into the floor makes me feel sick. It’s been four hours since we started training. It’s always the same dynamic: First, we all face the robot. Then, one against the other and all against the robot. Finally, everyone is your enemy. This last method repeats three more times, earning points everytime we win. Today, all the victory points are mine. Shadow Weaver gets closer to me. That’s when Catra looks away.  


“Congratulations, Adora,” she cheered. “Once more, you make me feel proud. Soon you’ll be the best Force Captain ever. You’ll conquer Etheria,” she claimed, looking up, with an even more imposing posture than what she usually has. “After all, that's what I raised you for”.  


I stand firm, giving her a military salute as an answer. My teammates imitate my reaction when they realize that our superior is going to leave the training room.  


“Catra.” She proclaims, stopping before reaching the door.  


My friend’s look changes. I can see tenderness in her eyes. I appreciate how a feeling of happiness hidden behind a fake indifference takes over her facial expression when Shadow Weaver pronounce her name.  


“You'd better straighten your spine.” And, once she articulates those words, she leaves the place.  


I set my look on Catra, feeling how her face turns darker. “Catra, I-” I whisper, placing my hand on her shoulder.  


She moves out of the way, rejecting my supportive touch without hesitation. “Time for lunch,” she announces, walking towards the exit.  


I follow in her footsteps, in complete silence. Catra fix her gaze on the floor. She doesn’t slow down in order to walk with me. However, I don’t increase my speed either. I just let her walk in front of me, feeling her... defeated. _Hurt_. Nevertheless, instinctively, when we enter the lockers area, the upper side of her tail tangles my right hand. Suddenly, my eyes burn, flooding with tears of pure impotence. I hurry to reach her figure, enclosing her in my arms from behind, so strong that nothing and nobody can ever separate me from her. Catra stops, paralyzed. She doesn’t get rid of my unexpected hug, but she doesn’t return it back to me. She just stares. Immobile.  


After a few seconds, I let a sob slip past my lips. This sound is like a switch for her, as she immediately wraps her arms around me. And I stay like this, holding her. And she holds me. None of us break the silence that divide us, but after a few minutes, Catra turns around to hug me facing me. My tears, which until now had stopped, flood my blue eyes again.  


“What’s wrong? You won, don’t you? You should be happy,” she noticed.  


I don’t answer. I just hug her even tighter, sinking my face somewhere between her neck and her collarbone. She sighs, returning that embrace.  


“I‘m not sure if I really want this.” I confess.  


Catra pulls me away, holding my shoulders and seeking my gaze with her own. I stare at her eyes. They’re so unique: the left one, it’s colored by a tone between light blue and pastel green; the right one, it’s yellow. A yellow _so intense_ that it seems it shines like fire. She’s beautiful.  


“Of course you want it! This is what we always wanted, right? Soon we’ll leave this place. What does it matter which of us is the Force Captain?” she lies. “We’ll conquer Etheria. Together. That’s the only thing that really matters. It’ll be ours. Forever”  


I take her words in, as if that were enough to believe them and make them true. Once more, I hold her tight, seeking the warm of her body. I open my lips to answer, but Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio’s entrance interrupt us. We both separate, taking a step backward. Lonnie scowled, understanding what was going on between us. For their part, Kyle and Rogelio continue talking and growling about fighting movements that have yet to be perfected.  


“You must improve all of them, Kyle.” Lonnie scoffs, as he lets a loud _oh, man_ out, with a shrug.  


They greet us before they open their respective lockers in order to have some water, a towel to dry the sweat, and to eat an energy bar. Kyle explains with an excessive enthusiasm why the gray ones are the most delicious of them all. We all listen, although Lonnie is the only one who interrupt him from time to time to make fun of his words, in a loving way. However, I can’t stop looking at Catra. She’s... _sad_. I can feel it. In just a few months, one of us will be named Force Captain, and, judging by how Shadow Weaver addresses Catra, the honored one will be me. Is that what‘s dividing us? Because, if so, I'd give up that job a million times just to see her smile.  


“Don’t you think so, Adora?” Lonnie’s voice drags me into reality. “Hello? Adora?” she insists.  


I shake my head. “What?” I ask.  


“I was asking if you think we’re ready to be sent to a true mission,” she repeats, irritated at the realization that I wasn’t listening.  


“Oh, yeah. Of course,” I say, not much sure of it. “Maybe I’ll give us a few months more to practice, we still need to improve the teamwork.”  


Once again, everyone began to debate. Everyone except Catra.  


After getting our towels and bathroom supplies, we head towards the shower room. Catra hates water. That’s why her baths hours are usually so quick, never beyond just and necessary. Nevertheless, I’ve always loved spending time under the burning water. For that reason, whenever Catra finishes, she always climbs one of the marble walls that sort the different showers, and watches me as she talks to me. 

But not today. She wasn’t very chatty that day, so I chose to bring out a topic that might distract her: preferences. Kyle has already started by arguing very detailedly why he preferred the grey energetic bars before the other ones. That’s why I started asking her that kind of stuff. 

_“Do you prefer the cold or the heat? Rainy or windy days?”  
“What would you choose, being defeated by Kyle once or by the rest of us every day during a whole week?”  
“Which do you hate the most: water or mice…?”_   


I even asked questions whose answers I already knew. Then, with the arrival of the next and last question, she smiled. “What’s your favorite number?”  


“What? I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it. No one does!” she exclaims.  


“Oh, come on!” I insist. “Surely there’s one that you like more than the rest... such as... number three.”  


“Number three?” she reflects. “If we join two threes, that makes an eight”.  


“And an eight lying down is an infinite,” I add.  


“Then... three hundred thirty eight” she laughs.  


And that laugh goes through me as if it were a stake.  


“Eight times three hundred thirty eight” I persist.  


“That’s... what kind of number is that? It’s impossible to pronounce!”  


“Okay, then three times three hundred thirty eight. That’s three hundred thirty-eight million three hundred thirty-eight thousand three hundred thirty-eight” I declare.  


“Agreed. And if you incline those eights, you’ll have infinite numbers,” she makes fun of it.  


Catra laughs so hard that she loses her balance for a few moments. But a cat _always_ falls on its feet.  


Suddenly, Catra was next to me, inside my shower. The water soaked through her clothes and fur, changing her face to one that was as desperate as terrified. For my part, I feel how my cheeks burn with embarrassment, and I place my arms to hide my breast and crotch.  


“Catra! I’m taking a shower!” I yell at her.  


“Oh! Do you really think I really wanted to end up here?” she screams in return, breathing hard and showing her most fearful facet.  


“I-” I whisper.  


It takes me a few seconds to react, turning off the tap immediately.  


“I’m sorry, I-” I apologize, not quite knowing why.  


Catra’s expression calms down, in order to suddenly flare up once she realized that I’m not wearing any clothes. Once again, I hide my body with my arms, feeling embarrassed.  


“Go away!” I command her, getting nervous.  


“Hmm, yeah, sorry!” she hesitates.  


However, when she turns around, her foot sets on the shower’s floor as she gives the first step, on top of the bar soap that I was using a few minutes ago. 

She falls flat on her face, so I hasten to help her. “Catra! Are you okay? I-”  


When I circle her waist to lift her, she places her hands on my shoulders. I fall silent. She doesn’t take her eyes off mine. I look at her, saying nothing. I’m not even able to put my ideas in order right now. I just stare at her... while she’s staring at me. She’s beautiful. She raises her ears, and her head slightly cocks to the side. Then we reach each other. And we kiss. 

Her lips are warm and soft. A certain tickling is deposited in my stomach, closing as if a strong knot inhabited it. I place my left hand on her face, and I kiss her even more. Her tail involuntary wraps around my body, while I take a step backwards, crashing my back against the marble wall. Catra takes a step forward, refusing to increase the distance between our bodies, not even by an inch.  


“Adora!” Lonnie interrupts us, once again. “Adora, we’re all looking for you! We need you in the training room!”  


Our lips part, but our foreheads meet, not wanting to part from each other.  


“Coming!” I answer.  


And we stay like this, without turning away from each other. We both exchange glances and smiles, before kissing again.


	3. Chapter 3

The sky is pink. From up here everything seems different, as if nothing affected me. For years, Catra and I have been climbing up here to feel like we’re on top of the world, as if nothing and nobody could reach us.

But today it’s just me. 

After I finished the job helping in the training room, teaching basic self-defense movements to the newest in the field, I couldn't find her. I thought she might be here, but it’s not the case. 

A gentle breeze makes me release a long shiver. I sigh. There’s not much to do around here. We just train, eat energetic bars, take showers, train some more, sleep and start all over again. Maybe this is not for me. Maybe that dream... what if it’s not just a simple nightmare? I grew up listening always to the same words: 

_“You’ll conquer Etheria, Adora.”  
“You’re special.”   
“You’ll save the planet from the princesses, you’ll be a heroine.”_   


**Heroine.** What a concept. How is someone born as a heroine? Or to be one of them... 

“Why am I here?” I mumble, even though I know no one’s listening. 

I stare at the horizon, trying to imagine how the world is beyond these borders. Dangerous princesses, that’s what I know. But, what else? Is everything beyond it really only inhabited by evil and powerful princesses? Is there really... _nothing else_? 

Once more, I sigh. I drop the weight of my head onto my hands, resting my elbows on my flexed legs. Suddenly, I remember my own words to Catra: _I‘m not sure if I really want this_. Did I really mean it? I shake my head, giving a sad smile. I’ve told it to Catra, of course it was real. I have never lied. Not to her. 

I stand up, on the edge of the crane. Just one more step and I’d fall down. I slowly open my arms, imagining I can fly. And get out of here. Find out what's outside these walls. Suddenly I feel an irrepressible urge to scream, but I don't. Instead, I shut my mouth, step back, and drop back down, returning to the position I was a few minutes ago. 

“My name is Adora... and I’ll conquer Etheria,” I say to myself. “I was born for this”. 

I thought that if I say it out loud, I’d believe it. I’d make it mine. But that’s not how it works. I hide my face in my hands. “What I’m going to do?” I ask myself. 

I cross my legs and sink deeper into myself. “I don’t know who I am”. 

Just when my tears lie in wait for my cheeks, my mind goes out for a few moments. As if nothing hurts, as if nothing really matters. Because, it’s in that moment, when a voice, just a simple voice, takes all those ideas and feelings out of my head. A voice that only utters two mere words... 

“Hey, Adora!”


	4. Chapter 4

Darkness takes over the sky. After another long training session, an intermission, a break to eat energy bars, and a shower, the day hides to make way for the night once again. I walk silently to my bed, smiling as I gaze at Kyle, already sound asleep on his mattress. I rub my arms, in a vain attempt to get rid of that strange feeling that haunts me. I suddenly feel chills and... an intense feeling of discomfort. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like something or someone was staring at me.

I take off my shoes before going to bed. I look up, losing my gaze somewhere up in the ceiling. A day has passed... and I feel as if it hasn't happened at all. As if nothing has happened. I feel... empty. If I had to choose what moments of the day I should keep in a box to never forget about them, it would only be two. A tiny smile suddenly takes its place on my face. Both of them with... 

“Adora.” Catra whispers, sitting like a cat on my left. I shift my gaze to meet hers. She cocks her head to the side, involuntarily moving her ears, sensitive to any tiny sound. I roll onto my side to look at her, while I smile. Our faces are just inches away. My instinct instigates me to kiss her. Just lay my lips on hers... just for an instant. However, something inside me knows that I can’t do that. Not in front of everyone. Actually, I don’t know why... is it wrong to be together? Why do I want to be closer to her than to anyone else? 

Her tail moves restlessly with extreme lightness. “Can you promise me that if you can't sleep or if you dream again, you’ll wake me up?” she mutters, cocking her head again. 

“Of course.” I nod, even if I’m not so sure about it. 

Catra’s gaze softens. I could even say that she’s smiling at me through it. Suddenly, in just one agile jump, she climbs into my bed and settles at my feet. I watch her drawing in her tail, sticking it to her body. She gets her head comfortable and lets out a slight purr. I continue looking at her, until she suddenly opens her eyes. For some reason that I can’t understand, I close mine. 

“Pst, Adora.” She calls out to me in whispers. 

“What?” I answer, copying her tone of voice. 

“Would you come with me to our special place?” She suggests. “There’s something that I want to ask you.” 

I open my eyes to look at her. “What? Like... right now? It’s late, they wouldn’t let us go.” I claim. 

Catra shrugs, letting go an apathetic _it’s okay, don’t worry_. Something inside me falls apart. She gets comfortable under my feet, hiding her face and holding her tail. I leave my sheets behind, and I get closer to her, placing my hand on her cheek. I set my face on the mattress, laying just a few inches from her. Catra opens her eyes. Those curious eyes, the ones that can awake so much inside of me. 

“Is it important?” I insist. 

“No.” She denies, not looking away. 

“That means it’s important for you.” I smile. 

“No way!” Catra cries out, louder than she should. 

I sit on the bed, waiting for her to copy my movement. Once she does, after checking that the lights are still out and everyone continues with their deserved sleep, I do what I was dying to do a few minutes ago. 

I kiss her. 

Nevertheless, what I thought would be a brief kiss, suddenly becomes a slightly longer one, and most importantly, a reciprocated one. 

When we separate, my hand is still on her cheek. “We’ll go wherever you want to go.” I tell her. 

She smiles. I never see her smile like that. Only when she’s with me. Catra wraps me in her arms, and I let myself be embraced. As she undoes that closeness, her hand slides into mine, pulling me to my feet and heading toward the exit. We slide down the hallways without making ourselves seen, much less heard. 

After finally reaching our little personal corner, the figure of Catra drops gently onto the cold metal frame. I look at her, but she doesn't take her eyes off the dark infinity that envelops our sky. I copy her posture, staring at what reigns over our heads. 

"I know I never usually tell you how I feel," she begins, without further delay, "but either I say this now, or I think I won't be able to take it anymore." Although I want to look at her, I don't do it. I remain motionless, without even knowing the reason for my attitude. 

She suddenly speaks up. “What are we?” 

I remain silent for a few moments. I know my answer is the stupidest thing I could ever say, but even knowing it, my lips articulate those meaningless words. 

“Well, we’re friends. Family. We’re-“ 

“More than that.” She ends. 

I continue to avoid looking at her. But what is happening to me? I want to talk to her, touch her, reach a conclusion… So why am I not able to react? 

“Listen, Adora, I don’t know what this is called, but you know it is not the same. It is not the same with Lonnie, Kyle or Rogelio. You and me...” She stops for a couple of seconds. “You and me are more… attached.” I feel a tear slide down my face, until it falls to the ground. Catra sits up, cocking her head once more at my absurd reaction. 

“What’s wrong?” She questions, with fear. 

I shrug. I gather my next tear before this one runs the same fate as the previous one. 

“I’m scared,” I admit. “I don’t know who I am.” I sit, crossing my legs in front of me. “I don’t know what this is, Catra. I don’t know if it has a name or it’s just like that. But something inside me tells me that others will not like it.” 

Her expression is sad. Her ears duck while her tail, so far restless, falls on the ground, ceasing to move. “Yeah…” She murmurs. 

And that’s it. She does not continue talking. Silence takes over the conversation. I wish with all my might to break it, but there’s a lump in my throat, choking me more and more and preventing me from saying a word. I hide my face in my hands, trying to compose myself and face reality. 

“Let’s get out.” I let go, at last. 

Catra replies, stunned. “What?” 

I raise my face to look at her. I can appreciate how her expression crumbles when she sees me cry. 

“Let’s get out of here. I want to discover Etheria, to see what is outside the Horde,” I confess. “But I also want to discover you, and we won’t be able to do that here.” 

“Why not? The Horde gave me a home.” 

“I’m not asking you to betray them, I wouldn’t do it either. Never,” I assure her. “I’m just saying that Shadow Weaver won’t let us… be together. Not the way we want. She will say you are-” 

“A distraction.” Catra interrupts me. “What am I doing wrong, Adora? What’s so bad about me?” 

My expression changes. Bad? How can she thinks there’s something wrong with her? Has she seen herself? Has she seen herself as I…? 

“As I see her,” I whisper, almost imperceptibly. 

“What have you said?” 

“That I need you to see yourself as I see you." I beg. 

There is a pause. Catra takes a few minutes to process my plead. The colour of her eyes intensifies with the darkness of the night. “And how do you see me?” She asks. 

And I kiss her again. 

Suddenly, all the fear that gripped me disappears. It’s just me and her, kissing in out favourite spot at night. I separate my lips from hers for a few moments, just so I could ask one thing. 

“Catra, please, come with me.” 

This time, her tears were the ones that flowed up to her cheeks. That’s why, when her lips met mine one more time, I knew the answer to my proposal. 

A resounding _Yes_.


	5. Chapter 5

Everything spins around me. That sound... I place my hands on my ears, I just can’t handle it anymore. I’m... on the floor? I’m trying to stand up, but that sound...

**“Adora.”**

It’s that voice. No, no, no. Not that voice again... I look around me. I’m just in an empty place, it’s... a ship. But, what about that sound? Why is it repeated over and over again? Why does it make me feel like I really want to... give up? I may not be able to run away after all. The Horde is my family, they took me in when nobody else wanted me. I- 

**“Adora.”**

“What do you want from me?” I exclaim, in a desperate cry. 

I don’t get an answer. Of course it doesn’t reply. My life isn’t that simple. It has never been. 

I walk in silence, trying to ignore that unpleasant sound that haunts me. Hearing it is like trying to swim to the surface with someone lurking below, dragging me back down. As if it wanted me to sink. 

**"Adora."** The voice says one more time. I do not answer. I just walk aimlessly. Forward. 

Usually, I‘d have woken up by now. It’s the first time I dream knowing that I am inside of a dream. Everything around me is dark, but I can see... something. An object at the end of the strange ship I'm on. Can I really confirm that’s the end? I don’t think so. As I get closer, the sound gets louder. I fall to the ground, covering my ears again. No, please, I don’t want to hear it anymore. I crawl towards what seems to be my only hope. What’s that? It looks like... a sword. A sword stucked in the ground. Just like that. 

As I reach out to touch it, I have to stop and cover my ears again. I draw myself in, dropping my head on the floor, shrinking my legs and pressing my hands even more against my ears. 

“Make it stop, please, I can’t bear it anymore,” I whisper, in tears. 

Then I close my eyes and remember Catra’s words: _“What’s so bad about me?”_

And the sound intensifies. I let a scream out. I can’t take it anymore. My only option... I stand up, and run. I run without even looking back. I’ve never felt such agony inside my own head. But I uncover my ears, and, accompanying my action with a desperate cry, I reach for the sword. But I go through it. 

That’s when everything turns black. Everything except... a figure. Judging by the digital flaws it seems to have, appearing and disappearing for just an instant, I‘d venture to say that it‘s a hologram. That’s it! The sword was a hologram, that’s why I couldn’t reach it. But, what’s the meaning of all of this? The cold gaze of the woman in blue is fixed on me. I return that look, but not with the same expressionlessness. 

**“It’s your destiny.”** She says, without taking her eyes off mine. 

I open my mouth to reply. However, the words don’t seem to come out of my lips. 

**“You must silence the sound.”** She insists. 

The sound... but I can’t hear it anymore. There’s only silence now. Have I done it? Was it me who silenced it? 

The hologram’s face changes completely. Her expression, cool and distant, turns into an authoritarian one, radiating a certain air of superiority. Then she gets closer to me, and the aura she gives off grows even more. I stay in my position, motionless, on the ground. Just accepting my inferiority regarding her. 

**“It’s true then... you don’t understand anything, don’t you Adora?"**

Her voice changes, as does her appearance. The woman in blue appears and disappears a couple of times to make way for a girl’s figure. A girl with a brunette complexion and dark eyes. She’s got her long hair tied back, and she wears what looks like a light blue bodysuit with white shoulder pads. She’s as beautiful as intimidating. The girl approaches me, standing almost at my height. She lays her right hand on my chin, aiming to lift my face and force myself to look at her. I contemplate her features, in silence. 

**“The sound, it’s _you_ ”. **

My eyes snap open as I sit up. My breath hitches, feeling my face soaked with tears. Catra's tail stretches, startled. That’s when she contemplates the scene, letting out a slight _"But what...?"_ waking up in such an unexpected way. Her gaze softens. 

“That nightmare again?” 

I nod without saying a word. “But this time it was different,” is what I’m trying to say. However, my strength doesn’t allow me. 

“Calm down,” she whispers, standing next to me and holding me in her arms. “You’re home now.” 

I hide my face in her chest, clinging to her as if something or someone were going to tear us apart. I let out a soft sigh. 

“I suppose,” I tell myself. I lift my gaze to stare at her. “I’m home.”


	6. Chapter 6

The third blow I take makes me fall. The training room floor is wet and cold, as if it were ice. I put my finger to my lips, and I see a deep dark red colour on them. The metallic taste of blood extends to my throat. I spend a few moments trying to focus my eyes, as I see four robots instead of two, two Rogelios instead of one. The rest of the soldiers are mere shadows to me.

“Adora, did you hurt yourself?” 

Lonnie offers me her hand so I can get up. I accept her help, despite the fact I’m still somehow a bit dazed and my basic instinct is telling me to continue on the ground. 

“What’s the matter with you today?” She curiously asks me, holding me by the waist. 

I spit blood on the floor, thanking that the blow didn’t break my nose. “I’m... just tired.” 

Lonnie doesn’t answer, just nods. For a moment, I think I feel she has something else to tell me, but she doesn’t say anything. I see she’s heading somewhere in the opposite direction to the robots. 

“No, no.” I turn away gently, recovering the weapon I had lost which was resting on the ground, a few meters away. Now I can go on. 

“Adora, you’re-“ 

“ _Fine_ ,” I interrupt her. “I can keep up.” 

“This is just training,” she reminds me. 

I know it’s true, but I can’t lose points. Not now. Shadow Weaver will sense something is happening to me and she won’t stop until she finds out what it is. And she probably won’t find out. She would blame Catra, who will feel bad about herself again, because she’ll think she’s the problem. But she’s not. 

“The problem is me,” I whisper. 

Lonnie turns her gaze away from the robots to lay them on me. For a few seconds, I’m afraid she’s heard my words. Why did I say them out loud? 

“Did you say anything?” 

I sigh, relieved. After denying with my head and giving Lonnie a little smile along with a warm “thank you”, I hasten to reach the most distracted robot. Rogelio attacks him from the front, while Kyle keeps the other busy running away from him, making that one chases him. 

I look briefly for Catra, who gives me a mischievous half smile. We both seem to read each other’s mind, since, after ordering Rogelio to continue with his attack, Catra runs towards me, ready to carry out the move we both devised. When I reach the robot’s left front leg, I jump to hit it hard from above. It loses its balance, while I look at Rogelio and scream at him. 

“Rip it off!” 

The strong lizard boy sticks his gun into the top end of the leg, using it as a lever while pulling his hand free of it. Barely a few seconds after it falls to the ground, I push Catra further. She places a foot on them as if they were a spring. Once she is on top of the robot, my feline girl nails her claws right into the head of that pile of nuts and screws, ripping it out and ending the operation of our metallic enemy. 

“Yes!” I exclaim. 

However, the euphoria of the moment disappears at the very moment I turn around. Kyle runs in my direction, followed by the huge second robot we must destroy. 

“Adora, watch out!” Lonnie warns me, pushing me away. 

We both fall a few meters away, out of the path of the only operating robot. I look up to discover Catra confused, desperately searching for any surface to jump to or hold on to. That's when I realize: the robots are going to crash. Was that Kyle's plan or has he just fled aimlessly? The second one, I guess. Rogelio rushes to catch the boy before the imminent collision, putting him safe somewhere near our position. However, I don't pay too much attention to his feat, my eyes just focused on Catra. 

I set my weapon on the ground and I run towards her, as if my mere presence could already spare her any harm. After all, I have to act like a heroine, right? 

“Catra!” I exclaim, in a drowned cry. 

I notice how she manages to calm down, contemplating the robot that in a few seconds will collide with the one she herself destroyed. She’s... waiting. Waiting for what? Then she gives me an enlightening look. 

“Stand back, Adora!” Lonnie orders me. 

I obey. I let myself fall on the ground, sensing what they were about to do. A spear flies over my figure until it hits one of the robot's hind legs, knocking it down. Catra jumps on it, taking advantage of its imbalance to take it down in the same way as the previous one: ripping off its head. When it turns off, it falls dramatically to the ground, while Catra jumps to reach the mainland. My expression twists when I discover that I am the impending destination of Catra’s jump. I let out a loud _"Wait!"_ escape when she, nimbly, lands on the ground, holding me by the wrist and pulling me towards the back of the room. 

Being both round robots, they roll to crash each other, causing a striking explosion in front of our noses. From the expansive force, we both lose balance, ending one on the other when everything stops. Catra burst into laughter, without turning away. My cheeks light up when I discover her so close. Once more, my back rests on the cool floor of the room, only this time I don’t care at all. I smile. She’s beautiful when she laughs. 

“Did you miss me?” she makes fun of me, stroking my face with her tail. 

She stands up, holding my hands with her own and helping me incorporate myself. “Are you okay?” she asks me “You have some blood here...” She set her gaze on my lips, wiping the thick red liquid that slips up to my chin with her thumb. 

There’s a pause. Catra’s smile disappears, and now she’s the one who seems to be blushing. I take a step back, looking away. I discover Lonnie watching us, as Kyle and Rogelio celebrate our victory. Her eyes fix on mines for a moment, and she dares to say: 

“So that was it.” 

Something tears me up inside. Kyle and Rogelio meet with us to continue the celebration. Catra seems to be unaware of the situation, screaming _“High five!”_ to Rogelio, which is a symbol she’s really happy. 

My gaze remains fixed on Lonnie's, who takes a few steps back and walks without hesitation towards the exit. I make a move to follow her, but Kyle gets in my way, making up an absurd little victory dance. And I lose sight of her. I hurry to follow her, her footsteps, but my feet stop short when I see an imposing figure blocking my path, in front of the door. My locks escape the safety of my hair band, presenting me even more defeated to her. 

It is then, with her pronouncing these words, when I can hear that agonizing sound that haunts me at night again. 

“What has distracted you, Adora?”


	7. Chapter 7

I can’t hardly breathe. I’ve been looking for Lonnie everywhere... Unsuccessfully. I can’t find Catra either. I don’t even think she wants to be found. Not after what she told us. Catra’s words echo on my mind.

_“What’s so bad about me?”_

I place my hands on my ears. Again. That sound. No, no, no. Not here, Adora. 

The hallways are almost empty, everyone seems to be training at this hour. However, after what happened, Shadow Weaver has decided to allow me the rest of the day off. “As long as tomorrow you are back to being the same as always. Or I’ll be forced to take action,” she has said. 

The sound intensifies. 

“Shut up, shut up,” I tell to myself over and over again. 

But I can’t stop thinking. My thoughts move at a speed my emotions are unable to go. I can’t do this anymore. This is not what you want, Adora. Can’t you see it? 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I repeat to myself. I have to get out of here. 

The face of that girl comes to my mind. Her eyes... those dark brown eyes. Her voice resonates inside of me again. 

**“It was true... you don’t understand anything... don’t you, Adora?”**

I hear her laugh for a second, before she says, **“That sound, it’s you”.**

“Adora!” Catra’s voice drags me back to the present. 

I lift my gaze and I look at her. She’s crouching down, aiming to catch up with me. And reality hits me, without hesitation. She places her hands on mine, slowly pushing them away from my ears. And I just look at her. Without thinking, feeling or saying anything. I’m just watching her. She gives me a few minutes to calm down, giving me a sweet kiss on the forehead. She gathers the tears from my cheeks, and offers me her hand to get me back on my feet. I accept it, feeling her claws gently close on my fingers. 

“Come on,” she whispers. 

And I follow her. I don’t know where she’s taking me. I just walk behind her figure. She doesn’t let go of my hand for a second. 

“Catra,” I say, once we walk a few meters together. 

She turns to look at me. I notice her cocking her head, waiting for me to continue. I smile involuntarily as I appreciate that characteristic gesture of hers. However, my face floods again with tears as I speak. “I have to go.” 

Her expression turns darker. I know she doesn't want to go. This is her home; this is her family... I shake my head. _Our_ family. 

Despite the pain her gaze reflects, she forces herself to draw half a smile, exposing part of her fangs. This time, it‘s her eyes that shed tears, despite being scarce and contained. “Why?” She questions me. 

I give her a look that only she understands. A look that says: _"Not here"_. Catra holds my hand again as gently as before. She guides me. This time I know where. The only place that is ours, the only place we can talk. Our place. 

Once we get there, neither of us says anything. I’m terrified to tell her what I need to say with all my soul. How is it possible to feel such desperation to confess something, and at the same time, such panic to refer a simple word about it? I fill my lungs with air, just to release it slowly. "Easy," I tell myself. 

“Hey,” she whispers, entangling her fingers between mine. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?” 

I nod my head. I take air once more... And I tell her everything. Every little detail of that nightmare that haunts me. She doesn't interrupt me once. Her eyes seem mesmerized by my own existence. I only see a glimpse of a certain feeling that I’m not able to identify when I utter, once again, the words: "I have to go." Her ears droop, then rise again when she asks me her question. 

“Then, what’s stopping you?” 

I don’t answer, because she already knows. I look down, but she undoes our hands to raise my face again. Her eyes begging me to look at her. And so, I do. I look at her. I look at her until I speak again. 

“I can’t go without you.” I admit. 

She closes her eyes. I don’t know if that’s what she wanted to hear. She drops her hands, but she doesn’t hold mine. And that simple gesture pierces my soul like a stake. 

“Why can’t you just stay?” She tries to be honest. “Why can't we just let everything stay as it is? I could help you stop dreaming and turn off that voice that-“ 

“You can’t do that,” I interrupt her. “No one can stop all this”. 

“And why not?” She raises her voice. 

“Because _I’m_ the problem, Catra!” I shout, without noticing it. “Don’t you realize?! That sound is me, it’s my voice, it’s in my head, and I can’t shut myself up, don’t you understand? That voice is me telling myself… yelling at me that I need to find out who I am. And here? I’ll never know. I can’t be who I am here. I’m just what they tell me I need to be." 

When I shut up, I realize I‘m standing. Catra, meanwhile, is still in the same place. It takes me a few seconds to get back to her height. 

“Catra, forgive me, I-” 

“Why? I can't be angry about the way you feel,” she says. 

“For yelling at you,” I meant to say. But I don’t. I just let that strange silence be. 

“I want to stay here,” she admits. “But I also need to find out what this is,” while she points to herself and then to me. 

I can't help but smile, just as I can't help but cry. Catra places her hand on my cheek gently. I repeat her gesture, holding her face without looking away. Our foreheads meet. I think she’s one of the warmest sensations I‘ve ever felt. 

“I’m going with you.” 

I nod my head. I know it’s not fair. I know it’s selfish of me to let her do this. I know she shouldn't give up on anything, much less for me. But I also know I can't do this without her. 

“I promise you, we’ll come back,” I whisper. “I promise this won’t change anything”. 

She nods, wrapping me in her arms. And so, without letting go for a long time, I finally understand that this martyring and heartbreaking sound is about to disappear forever. 


	8. Chapter 8

I completely wrap myself in my sheets. When Catra returns from her training, she settles at my feet, like every night. I don’t say any words or emit any signs that may lead to the belief that I am awake, but I feel that she knows it.

Tomorrow we’ll leave. I’ll train and earn the highest possible score, like every day, to impress Shadow Weaver and make her let his guard down. And at night, we’ll leave. I’ll go with her. Something in me gradually unravels... she doesn't want to go with me. Perhaps that phrase is not quite well formulated. She doesn’t want to _leave_. Although the truth is, she wants to be with me. And I need to be with her. Her mind seems to read mine, for when that fleeting thought intersects my ideas, Catra crawls into my sheets. I smile. I know she can't sleep like this. 

“You can sleep at my feet, as always. Don’t worry,” I whisper. 

Her legs tangle in mines, drawing closer to me. Catra laces her fingers through mines, wrapping me in her arms. I close my eyes and get carried away. We can't get any closer, but I still need to feel her even closer. 

“I wish we could merge,” I mutter. 

She smiles. Her hug grows even stronger, as she lets out a light laugh. A laugh of pure happiness. A laugh that rips a smile off me. 

“I... like you.” I finally say. 

I've never felt this way about anyone, so I don't know how to define it. Nor do I know if someone within these borders has felt something like this or merely similar. In short, I don't know what this is. I just know I don't want it to end. I want it to be forever. 

“Adora…” there’s a short silence. “We’ll come back, right?” 

I nod my head. Her voice cracks as she asks that last question. I know she’s afraid. I am too. But we’ll be back. Of course we‘ll be back. I would never betray The Horde. It's my home. The simple idea of abandoning Lonnie, Rogelio, Kyle,... I’d never do that. After all, they’re my friends. And I'm not the kind of person who abandons her friends. 

Catra’s tail goes around me, so I can hug it until I fall asleep. And that’s what I do. However, when I wake up, she‘s no longer here. She’s at the foot of my bed... our bed. Like every night. I sit carefully on the mattress, looking at her and smiling. In a few minutes the alarm will go off, and it looks like there have been no nightmares tonight. 

“Thanks to you,” I whisper, even if I know she’s no longer listening to me. 

I place my hand on my shoulder, startled to feel someone has brushed it. I turn around in a hectic way, when a continuous _"shhhh"_ tells me to continue in silence. Lonnie's green-brown eyes look alarmed at me. When I see her, I obey. My friend gestures with her head, motioning for us to get out. I accept, since I also want to talk to her. 

I get out of bed, trying not to wake Catra. Lonnie holds my wrist and pulls me toward the exit. I'm trying to guess if her attitude leans more towards a peaceful conversation or if, on the contrary, it will turn out to be aggressive. In any case I haven’t done anything wrong... right? 

“What’s going on?” She barks. 

Okay. There’s definitely some aggressiveness in her voice. 

“What do you-?” I started to say. 

“Catra,” she forcefully says, as if she really hated her name. “What’s going on with her?” 

“There’s nothing-” 

She interrupts me. “I’ve seen you, Adora.” 

“What have you seen?” I insist, trying to sound carefree. 

“I’ve seen the way you look at each other.” 

How do we look at each other? Is how I really feel about her so strong that it can be sensed even with a simple glance? I know it is. After all, I can't help but feel butterflies in my stomach when she touches me. Suddenly, without realizing it, I am smiling like a fool. 

“Really? Do you really make that silly face when you think about her?” She rolls her eyes "You’re so bad at lying, Adora”. 

And she‘s right. I‘ve never been good at lying, much less to my friends. However, I must strive not to make Lonnie suspicious. At least until tonight. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Are you in love with her?” 

I tilt my head. In love? What does it mean? I’ve never heard that word. Why does Lonnie? She seems to read that confusion in my gaze. She rubs her arms for warmth. That's when I realize how strange it’s to me to see her without her daily clothes. She wears a white tank top and loose brown pants. Her bare feet shudder at the cold emanating from the ground. I stare at her, without even blinking. 

“What...? N-no-” I stutter. 

Again, she rolls her eyes. “You don’t know what it means, huh?” 

I slowly shake my head. I feel like an idiot not knowing what it means. If she has referred that word without hesitation, it’s because it’s a fairly common word, right? Or so I think... Lonnie tries to end the conversation with a brief "it doesn't matter". However, I hold her shoulder, aiming to stop her march. She doesn’t resist. 

“What does it mean?” 

“Why do you care?” She says, with judgment in her eyes. 

My gaze becomes submissive, begging for an answer. Her, for her part, remains impassive, but ends up surrendering. Lonnie lets out a slight whimpering sound before agreeing. Once again, she rolls her eyes. 

“Okay...” she sighs. “One day Octavia returned from a mission... feeling annoyed,” she makes a pause. “We used to talk often, she said she was like me at my age,” she smiles. “Anyway, she said something... she explained to me that out of here...” She shakes her head, letting that whining sound escape once again. “I don't know how to explain these kinds of things, Adora." 

“Try,” I insist. 

She sighs. She allows herself a few moments to sort her ideas. “People _fall in love_ with others,” she makes quotation marks with her hands when mentioning the word. “It’s like... choosing someone to accompany you. Someone who complements you, someone with whom-“ 

“I’d be with for the rest of my life.” I finish her sentence. 

Her voice trails off. She looks at me, examining my expression in depth. 

“Well...” she whispers. “I guess you already know, don’t you?” She shrugs. "It's how you feel about her,” she looks up at me. “It shows that you love her. When you two are together...” she orders her words. “I think I‘ve never seen anyone as happy as you two in those moments.” 

"So that's how it's called," I tell to myself. “I love her. I’m _in love_ with her.” I can't help but draw the biggest smile I'm capable of outlining. I have to tell her. Lonnie's lips curl slightly downward at my enthusiasm. Her eyes begin to shine... with sadness. My breath begins to shake. Panic takes over every corner of my soul. Just by her simple look I can deduce that something has happened. And I'm afraid I know what it is. 

“What have you done?” My voice breaks when I utter that last word out loud. Lonnie's brown eyes stare at the ground, unable to rest on my shattered face. 

I run to our bedroom door. Or everyone's, rather. And then, when I can't appreciate the figure of Catra on our bed, the world falls apart. The sound... my voice is back. That voice that repeats to me over and over again that this is all my fault. That voice that makes me see what I really am. A monster. 

**"My name is Adora, and I’ll never be a heroine”.**

My tears soak my cheeks. I wish I could transform myself into someone completely new. I wish the earth would swallow me at this very moment, and thus disappear. I wish I was strong enough to face that the problem has always been me. The one that makes her feel like the second option, the one that makes her see that she’s nobody to The Horde. And now this. 

**"My name is Adora and the only thing I know is that I‘m the one who should be absolutely no one".**

Because, that voice that repeats itself in my mind over and over again, that voice that is consuming me to death... My voice, in reality only says one thing. 

**"Adora, she would be better off without you."**


	9. Chapter 9

I’m short of breath. I‘ve never run this fast. Never. Years of my life training daily to drown in a simple career. Although, it really isn't that simple... it's because of her.

I dodge every obstacle that cross my path. It’s time to wake up and everyone is going to the bathroom, to say hello to their friends or directly to get their energetic breakfast bar. For that reason, the hallway is filled with more people than I‘d like to see right now. I hear voices behind me as I leave familiar figures behind. 

_"Adora?"  
"Adora, are you okay?"  
"Is something wrong?"  
"Adora!"  
"Adora-"  
_

I want to scream. I want to scream and to make everyone disappear. But I don't have time for it. The only image that haunts my mind right now is hers. I hold back tears, even though when I have a problem related to hers, it's almost impossible for me to avoid crying. 

Once I reach the entrance of the dark garnet chamber, I discover it’s closed tight. But that doesn’t stop me. I don't even doubt it. I continue running, smashing my shoulder against the door in a vain attempt to open it wide. A muffled cry with her name bursts from my throat. The soldiers guarding the gate hold me by both arms, cutting me off. That's when I realize how much my shoulder hurts. I let out a groan slips away. However, I hardly hesitate. I cross my right leg with the soldier’s one closest to me. He falls flat on his face, causing the only one still standing to rush to hold me even stronger. My free hand takes the helmet of my fallen opponent, and, after dedicating a firm kick to his head in order to knock him unconscious, I hit with all my strength the helmet that I hold against that of the soldier still standing. They both fall, defeated. They‘ll recover. The Horde has taught us well the difference between annulling and taking down the enemy. 

My fist smashes into the door. How can I open it? I shout her name again, but by doing so far as to hit it once more, it just opens up. I know I should prepare myself, reflect for a moment on what I could find inside... but I don't. My head is not able to sort out my ideas, let alone draw up a plan. That’s why I enter without hesitation, making my way with a broken heart and the logic totally nullified. 

“Adora,” a voice raises inside the room. 

My gaze flies to sink into hers. Shadow Weaver contemplates me, upright and serene... Superior. Although those airs of superiority were always inherent in her. 

“You have to learn to be less visceral,” she continues, approaching me without any haste. “To be a good captain-” 

“I don't want to be captain.” I spit, as I appreciate her gaze turning to pure fire. “I was born to be a _heroine_ ,” my tone of voice hardens when pronouncing these words. 

Now, the one that presents herself strong, upright and confident, is me. For the first time in my life, I‘m the superior. Gradually, a feeling of anger grows in her gaze. Despite being able to realize it, I remain in my position. 

“And what does it matter?!” She roars, her words bursting in the environment like a bomb that is finally able to blows up. “It's too late, you hear me?!” 

Something inside me falls, slowly collapsing. I’m in ruins. My eyes shine at the tears that threaten to peek out and rush down my cheeks. What does she mean? Why is it too late? Once again, my voice echoes in my head. 

**“See? Because of you, Adora. She would be better off without you.”**

I can’t stand it. I can't bear this pain anymore. I can’t bear how I, my own conscience, tears myself apart. 

“What have you done?” I dare to ask. 

I can’t see her face, but I know very well that she’s smiling. My mind designs an image of a macabre, chilling and definitely terrifying smile. A smile as triumphant as it is dark. A smile that accompanies those words that her gaze shouts for everyone to hear. “Oh, I’m enjoying this so much”. 

Enjoying my pain. An irremediable desire to rip off that mask and destroy all her power until she is left with absolutely nothing takes over me. But something is wrong... my strength fails. Despite this, when the following words leave her lips, I pounce on her, abandoning all understanding of my mind and being left alone with this agonizing pain that ends up dominating me. 

“I’ve sent her to Beast Island.”


	10. Chapter 10

Stunned. Perhaps that’s the word that best defines me right now. The pain in my right shoulder intensifies as I resist de tight leather straps that keep me still. The dark garnet chamber is presented to me differently from this perspective. For me it was always a place I shouldn’t go in. That’s all.

Today, I find it a perfect torture chamber. 

I never thought Shadow Weaver would be able to get this far. I was always her favourite, and Catra was always mine. I thought that, after all these years, she would respect that. I obeyed her, and she let Catra stay. I’ll never understand why she hated her so deeply. How is it possible not to like her? How is it possible… that she’s _gone_? The Island of the Beasts… I close my eyes. She won’t survive. Maybe she’s already… 

I try to untie myself again, despite knowing my chances of achieving it are close to 0%. However, I do, but not with the intention of freeing myself. I just feel the pain in my injured shoulder over and over again. Maybe that will distract me from the emotional pain. 

“Are you really trying to resist?” She laughs. 

I stop. No tears run down my cheek. No voice is heard in my head. Not the slightest heroic feeling haunts my mind. All that’s left is pain. 

She stands before me. “Relax.” 

I don’t look up. What for? I wouldn’t see anything intimidating in her. My gaze is empty. Inert. I just want to… quit. 

“Say goodbye to the Adora you are today,” she advises me. 

“Until never,” is what I think. I’ve never liked the Adora that I’ve been. None of my versions. I drop my head back, on the cold metal structure to which the straps hold me together. And I close my eyes. My hair falls down my back. “I want to disappear.” 

“Very well,” she continues. “Don’t say anything, Adora.” 

I open my eyes to watch her close her fist, just raising her index and heart fingers, with the help of which she draws a rune in the air. Her fingers dance until she creates the perfect spell. I don’t know what she’s up to. And I don’t care. Therefore, when a ring of light is created as red as garnet, I feel no fear. I really don’t feel anything. I put my head back, closing my eyes again. I give up my strength, my struggle, and my soul. I abandon myself, until my tears begin to flow as I wear a heartrending smile. “I know what we are,” I tell myself, as if she could hear me. Her face takes over my mind. Her eyes were always the most beautiful I have ever seen. The way she shows her fans when she smiles. The way her ears droop in sadness and stretch in surprise. Her laugh. 

I smile. I’ve never thought it possible to shed so many tears of pain while making such a big smile. “I know what I feel,” I insist. 

And when I open my eyes, when that ring of light pierces me completely, I think I see her. I don’t know if she’s real or not. Two soldiers hold her, at the end of the room, behind the sorceress. She is crying. I’m not able to hear her words, but I think I read a desperate _“No!”_ leave her lips. She pulls with all her might, as she tries to get away and runs towards me. She’s trying to save me. She is a heroine. I gave up, and now she’s struggling to rescue this ruined spirit-wounded being. 

“Whether you succeed or not, you will always be my heroine,” is what I’m dying to say. I’m dying to tell you so many things… However, it all happens in a second. I think I only observe her for a tiny moment, while my thoughts fly to the question she asked me, what feels like ages ago. 

_“What are we, Adora?”_

I smile. Now I know. That’s why, when my absent gaze meets hers, my lips are uttering this response to her distant words. 

"I’m in love with you."


	11. Chapter 11

The Horde’s cells are really boring. I don't know how long it has been since I last saw her. What was she saying?

I wrap my bent legs in my arms, cornering myself in the cell. I gently place my head on the wall to my right, while I drop my back onto the wall behind her. She can't forget about me, can she? That spell cannot work on her. Or maybe it did? 

I let a long sigh slip away. I‘ve never been anyone. Or at least no one remarkable. I grew up with her. We've... been together. I know I mean something to her. However, I can't stop thinking that maybe it isn't as strong as what I feel. It may not be enough for her. She’s... 

I smile. Exactly. She makes me smile. But she also makes me cry. How many times have I pretended to ignore Shadow Weaver's words? 

_"Don't distract Adora."_  
_"Congratulations, Adora."_  
_"You’ll never be like Adora."_

I look down remembering that day when she fixed her eyes on mine. "I only let you stay because you mean something to Adora,” is what she said. I shrink even further, wrapping myself in as if I could create a protective bubble around me that would make all this pain go away. Despite everything, all I know is that I want to kiss her again. When we are alone everything is perfect. I‘ve never told her. I don’t usually express how I feel very often, although these last few days I‘ve made an effort to do so. And look what happened. 

“Maybe it isn’t a good idea,” I murmur. 

I pause for a moment to reflect, and that’s when I feel something in my chest. How is it possible that all this time I was just thinking about her? I should have figured it out... I'm in a cell. And I know what happens to prisoners of the Horde when they start to be useless. 

Shadow Weaver's long hair is made of a deep charcoal black. She stops in front of me, but on the other side of the bars. I don’t get up. For what reason? I already know what she’s going to announce to me. 

“You’re sending me to Beast Island, aren’t you?” I conclude, sticking my gaze on the ground. 

I don’t get an answer. Two soldiers escort her. The sorceress raises both hands at the same time to make a gesture to her guards, instructing them to leave. After dedicating a military salute, they lower their heads and leave the area. Shadow Weaver opens the door, not even bothering to close it after her passage. Once again, a simple attitude of hers shows me how little she thinks I am capable of. Which leads me to ask myself the same thing over and over again. 

_"What's so bad about me?"_

I remember when I said those same words to Adora. I can feel her so strongly inside of me... 

I lift my gaze to meet Shadow Weaver’s. Panic takes hold of my understanding by not noticing even the slightest glimpse of that triumphant feeling in her gaze. “What happened?” I stand up in just one movement. “What have you done to her?” 

Silence. My breathing stirs as I get no response. I could accept that she forgot about me as long as she was happy. I could accept being sent to Beast Island, as long as she still had a possible future. A future without me. A tearing feeling runs through me. 

“Catra,” she spits my name, scornfully, “how can you even think I would do that to you? I've raised you, and even though you’ve only managed to disappoint me, I can't let you go.” 

I can’t stand it anymore. I burn. Right now, I am pure fire. A feeling of anger emerges from my stomach to invade every corner of my body. 

“Do you really think I'm going to _believe_ that?” Now, the one who spits the words with disdain is me. “I want to know what you have done to Adora. I want to know what you are going to do with me. I want to know what's going on, and I want to know it now!” I burst these words without even thinking about them. 

She watches me, motionless. Her sinister face smiles. On another occasion I would have been humiliated for addressing her with such audacity, but not now, because it’s my pain that speaks. And she loves that agony. For a second, I catch a glimpse of an idea in her gaze. And there it is. That triumphant nature. She even seems to stand tall, looking more powerful... looking superior. 

“I should have imagined it wouldn’t be easy to fool you,” she proceeds. “You're in luck, I don't know what kind of strength binds you two, but I haven't been able to erase you from Adora's memory.” 

I can feel my heart stop for a tiny moment. I don't know if I'm happy or deeply terrified by what that means. What I do know, however, is that it’s real. Whatever it is that we feel, it’s completely and absolutely real. The image of the last time I saw her is reflected in my mind. She said something. Something that I was not able to hear. She believed those words would be the last words she would say to me... What did she say? 

“But, relax,” she continues. “She won’t remember anything about these last months." 

I've never believed that the expression _the world would fall apart_ could be so accurate. A tear appears, threatening to slip on my face. I’ve never cried in front of her. I‘ve never cried in front of anyone other than Adora, and even in front of her I swallow my emotions. But when that expression becomes real, when someone's world truly collapses, feelings clog in my throat, creating a sense of suffocation that strangles me. She won’t remember the kisses, the caresses, the sleepless nights fighting her nightmares... She won’t remember how I was sincere about myself. She won't remember that _"What's so bad about me?"_ , just as she won't remember her response to those words. 

**"I need you to see yourself as I see you."**

Her mere memory suffocates me. And how do you see me Adora? How should I see myself? You kissed me. That was your answer. My thoughts stop, slowing down. She kissed me... I want to scream. I want to cry as much as my lungs allow me. Because until now I haven’t understood. She kissed me, because this is just how she sees me... Just like I see her. 

“Unfortunately, as she still remembers you, I won’t be able to send you to Beast Island. If she were to find out, she’d never forgive me, wouldn’t she? 

I look up. I didn't even remember that she was still here, in front of me, tearing me apart. She laughs. How can she laugh at a time like this? Can’t she see me? Can't she see how I'm feeling? Can’t she see how I’m dying inside? 

Her right hand wraps around my neck, crashing me into the wall behind me. She closes her fingers with total precision and with no hesitation. For a moment, I don’t resist. But then I remember her. She’s still alive. She’s still here, with me. So I dig my claws into her hands, confronting the idea of giving up. For her part, she seems unmoved. 

“If this happens again, I‘ll get rid of you myself." 

And she lets go of me. I fall to the ground, unable to avoid coughing. I'm trying to pull myself together, to show some strength... in vain. I can only catch a glimpse of her figure walking away, and burning her last words in my head. 

“Don’t ever forget this, Catra: you’ll **never** leave with her.”


	12. Chapter 12

I’ve never had such a strange feeling. It’s as if… as if this wasn’t me. I mean, I’m me but I’m… different? It takes a few minutes for me to focus. My head is going to explode. I sit up, and in doing so I let out a slight groan. Very carefully, I put my hand on my right shoulder. I let out another moan. Why does it hurt so much? What happened? I hate this feeling, it’s like waking up in someone else’s sleep.

So far, I haven’t been able to guess where I am: this is a particular room. I’ve never been to this place, and I don’t even remember the existence of something like this in The Horde. They’re all common areas here. I watch a needle go through my skin and into my veins. I look up to contemplate the dropper resting by the bed. “I don’t need this anymore,” I tell myself. I get a piece of cotton I find on the table. I place it on that place in my arm, and I gently pull out the needle. I press for a few moments, to avoid a future bruise. 

I stand up, walking slowly to the mirror hanging on the wall to my left, right above a ramshackle tin sink. At first my legs falter, so I give myself a few seconds to adjust, constantly wondering what’s going on here. I turn on the tap, splashing my face with water with only one hand in a vain attempt to clarify my ideas. It’s all confusing… 

As I look at my reflection, I appreciate the bandages that run along the right side of my chest, wrapping my injured shoulder completely. I’m not able to sort out my memories… how did I do this to myself? There’s a confusing image in my head about a workout that didn’t go very well. I was distracted… or so I think. But why? Maybe this was how I got hurt? 

The sound of the door opening wide manages to startle me. Once again, I let out a soft scream. Lonnie’s puzzled gaze lingers on mine. It is when her expression changes, lightning up with a smile. 

“You’re awake!” She celebrates. 

I smile back, not knowing very well what to answer. “Uh… It seems so,” I point out, not quite convinced. “What happened?” 

Lonnie’s figure approaches me, giving me a sweet hug. She's careful with my shoulder, knowing that it is not in a good condition. As we separate, my friend begins to explain. 

“It was a bad workout,” she proceeds. “You were a little nervous, Shadow Weaver had just told you that in a few months you’d probably be named Force Captain.” She shrugs. “I guess that pressure distracts anyone.” 

I frown. Yes, I may remember something like that. However, for some reason, my brain is not able to assume that information as its own. There’s something that doesn’t make sense, even though everything could perfectly match reality. Besides, why would Lonnie lie to me? 

“We faced some robots and when they crashed, they exploded,” she continues. “Catra pulled you but she couldn’t push you away in time, the expansive force of the explosion itself caused you to hit the ground, right on your shoulder.” 

“Catra…” I mutter. “Is she all right?” 

Lonnie falls silent. For a moment something presses on my chest. 

“Sure!” she exclaims, completely changing her expression. “It’s her time to train, Catra, Kyle, Rogelio and me take turns watching you,” she smiles. 

I also smile at her. My gaze cannot help but acquire a certain expression of tenderness. They are great friends. 

“Shadow Weaver said to go and look for her when you wake up; a lot has changed!” she exclaims. “The robots are already completely round, without heads, so it is more difficult to beat them,” she warns. “Oh, and they produce holograms! Now as we fight, we don’t really see the robot, we see princesses! It’s like we’re fighting directly against them, Adora, you have to see it! They give us a mission and we must-“ 

“Wait, wait, wait,” I shake your head, stopping her. “How long have I been sleeping?” 

Lonnie twists the gesture, somewhat overwhelmed by my possible reaction. 

“A couple of… weeks.” 

“ _Weeks?!_ ” I let out a scream. 

How is it possible that I’ve slept for weeks? This doesn’t make sense. Could I be dreaming right now? 

“Adora, don’t worry, you’ll get used to it fast, you’ll see,” Lonnie tries to assure me. 

I don’t know how to feel. This is strange and confusing, and… it just doesn’t feel real. My friend seems to read my thoughts. 

“Go see Shadow Weaver. You’ll understand it over time,” she promises. 

I nod. I walk silently to the door, stopping only to dedicate _“Thank you for taking care of me”_ before leaving the room. However, she prevents me of doing so. “Adora, wait!” 

I turn around to look at her. Something about her tells me it’s not quite right. I sense… some regret? Maybe she feels like she could have helped me avoid the accident. I’ll make sure she doesn’t feel guilty about it later. However, her following words bear no relation to this issue. 

“You know I’ve never trusted Catra much,” she lowers her gaze. “But she’s been by your side more than anyone. She hardly sleeps at night. She just separates herself from you and that bed to go to the training sessions.” 

A sense of emptiness runs through me. 

“She… loves you a lot,” she concludes. 

I say thank you again, but this time I leave the room for real. My mind turns out to be a puzzle that I’m not able to decipher. I walk down the aisle immersed in my thoughts, until I stop dead in my tracks. How am I going to get to the dark garnet chamber if I don’t even recognize this place? Usually, all the hallways here look the same. However, today it seems that this reality has multiplied by a hundred in my head. 

I turn around ready to go back to where I came from to ask Lonnie the right directions… and that’s when I see her. Her body freezes when she looks at me. A new sensation strikes me without any hesitation. It is as if I haven’t seen her for months. 

“Hey, Adora,” she mutters, regarding me with an expression I can’t clearly identify. 

I don’t know why a tear slides down my cheek. I just want to hug her. That is my first impulse. I want to run towards her, hold her against me and never let her go. A word flies among my thoughts: heroine. I feel like she really is one. As if my last sensation before falling into that deep sleep, were a strong image of her behaving as such. She will always be my heroine. 

“Hey Catra,” I reply, with a barely sustainable broken voice. 

Her eyes shine silently. For an instant, I forget the pain in my shoulder. I forget that uncertainty that haunts me, I forget my thoughts and even my memory. For an instant, all I can see is her. I hurry to reach her, feeling an inexplicable bitterness that envelops my soul. 

And I hold on to her.


	13. Epilogue.

I can feel the magic growing in every corning of Etheria. I let myself fall on the grass, spreading my arms. She copies my posture, but lying down on the other side, so that way our faces are at the same height, but our bodies lie in opposite ways. I open my mouth to say that she should just lay next to me, but when I turn my face to look at her, I’m speechless. She’s so beautiful. Then she directs her gaze towards me, looking away in a quick motion when she notices me staring.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she says while she blushes. 

I smile. I never thought this day would come. And finally, we’re here. A strong desire to wrap her in my arms and never let go takes over my mind. 

“I love you,” I say, feeling a funny tingle in my stomach. 

“And I love you too,” she lays on her side, laying the palm of her hand on my cheek, and giving me the most beautiful smile. “I’ve always loved you.” 

Uncontrollable tears spring from my big blue eyes. How long have I been waiting for this? I didn’t even understand my feelings a few weeks ago, but since she saved Glimmer… Since she apologised… I never though that a simple _“I’m sorry, for everything”_ would be able to fade even the last of my doubts. I just wanted to go back, get her back and hold on to her so tightly that nothing and no one could ever separate us again. 

“I love you,” I repeat, longing for those two words to be engraved with fire on her soul. 

Suddenly she puts her face above mine, just a few inches, but still lying the other way. I slightly caress her cheek. As I do this, she cocks her head, rejoicing in that caress, as if that simple gesture completely fills her. One of her tears lands on my face. 

“Why don’t you lie here next to me?” I tell her, gently gathering her tears. 

And she kisses me. I close my eyes, wishing for this moment to be infinite. 

In one quick movement, I get up and sit in front of her. Catra copies my posture again, getting as close to me as she can. And we kiss again. I wrap my fingers in her short hair. She’s beautiful in every single way. Her lips are warm and soft. 

“I love you,” I say, as I kiss her again. 

I feel how her face floods with tears. I step back a few inches, dropping my forehead onto hers. I place my hands on her cheeks and, with the help of my thumbs, gently erase each of her tears. 

“I didn’t know one could cry of happiness,” she confesses. 

Now, it’s me who gets emotional, and I hug her as hard as I can. “I wish we could merge into one,” I murmur in her ear. 

I can feel her smile, but as I separate and look at her, I glimpse a certain sadness in her expression. I gently caress her face, “Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s not the first time you’ve said that to me,” she sadly says. 

My expression reveals my confusion. “What?” I ask myself. I don’t remember it. I don’t remember having… Suddenly, all doubt vanishes, as I whisper this. “Shadow weaver?” 

She nods. I get even closer to her, wrapping my legs around her hips and placing my hands on her waist. 

“What is it that I don’t remember?” I ask, puzzled. 

There is a slight pause. Her eyes shine in the darkness of the night, illuminated only by the millions of stars that surround us. Catra takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “You’ve already kissed me,” she smiles, a tear running down her cheek. “We were trying to find out what we were feeling, to give this a name,” she points to both of us. “I was going to leave with you.” 

Those words hit me. What would have happened if we had left together from the beginning, as we planned? 

“But Lonnie...” she shrugs and, after a brief pause, she keeps talking. “You started to get lost in the training. You cared more about me than about the mission and ... She saw how we looked at each other.” 

I give her another fleeting kiss, at which she can't help but smile. I couldn't resist any longer, I had to erase the sadness her expression radiated. 

I look at her. Her ears down, her sweet smile, the colour of her eyes, the warmth of her hands on my waist... All that she makes me feel is really capable of being seen from the outside, just with a simple glance? 

“I tried to save you, but it was too late. Some soldiers held me while she erased your memory, just a few meters from me... And I couldn't do anything,” she says, with heavy regret in her voice. 

“You've already saved me,” I say, without hesitation. “You told me you loved me, and I... I gave up. I thought it was all lost but you fought for me, you got me out of there, you... saved me. You are my hero, Catra.” I say, placing, once again, my forehead against hers. 

I look at her as she smiles. I place my right hand on her face, and she rests hers on mine. We both look at each other before kissing again. What was once just a tingle, now it’s quite an earthquake. I feel that there’s a feeling so strong inside of me, that it even appears tangible in my mind. 

“Hey...” she whispers. “You don’t remember anything, don’t you?” 

I shake my head. She sighs. “I’m sorry,” is the only thing I can say. 

“Don’t worry,” she assures me. “It's just... You said something. When I was trying to get to you, while she was erasing your memory, you... you said something to me and I've always wondered-“ 

“I’m in love with you,” I interrupt her. 

I don't even know why I said that. It’s as if my lips have uttered those words unconsciously, as if they were a mere reflection of all that. There’s a long silence. She just looks at me, without saying anything. Her hands cling even more to me. Catra looks down, smiling. Her tears soak me. I gently lift her face, placing my index and middle fingers on her chin. She looks at me. 

“A lifetime wanting to hear those words, and it turns out I've heard them before,” she smiles. 

Her gaze rips a smile off my face. 

“You’ll listen to them for the rest of your life,” I tell her, knowing I fully intend to remind her every day. 

Catra cocks her head. She smiles, but she’s still crying. Her fangs peek out from behind her lips. I can't take my eyes off her eyes. I’ve never seen anything so impressive. So, when she asks me the following question, I can't resist my desire to kiss her with all my might. 

“Promise?” 

Catra's expression starts as a huge smile, and it ends up becoming a sweet laugh. “You’ve transformed into She-Ra while you were kissing me! You’re such an idiot.” 

And it’s true. By the time I notice it, I’m wearing a shiny golden tiara and I'm a few inches taller than her. That thing I felt... that feeling that surpassed me... I laugh. 

“You wake up the magic in me,” I whisper. 

She kisses me again, before standing up and pulling me to follow in her footsteps. I don't know where she’s taking me, but before I let myself go, I hold her hand again, interlacing our fingers, and I call out for her. 

“Hey, Catra!” 

She turns to look at me. She looks like an angel. Our eyes meet, as if with only that gesture we already knew everything we feel for each other. It is then, when I reply. 

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Stories can be the most powerful thing in the world”, and this is the end of my story. I hope you all love it as much as I do.  
> Also, I’d like you to know what I was trying to express through my words, and make that moral yours. So, please, don’t ever forget: “You’re worth more than what you can give to other people. You deserve love, too".


End file.
